What’s up, {{first_name|Bro}}?
Do you know what’s cooking today?
Another copy review.
BUT….
This time, the copy is better than the last review.
So, let’s dive into it.
REMINDER:
Black text will include the newbie writer’s email copy
The Blue text will be my opinion and comment on the copy.
COPY:
SL: Daniel Throstel
PV: The father of anime emails
REVIEW:
It’s good, and his name shows the authority for intermediate readers, while newbie writers who don’t know the daniel will automatically get hooked with the word anime, it’s more kinda gen-z vibe cause majority if it’s audience is Gen-Z.
COPY:
Daniel throstel god of anime emails - is he dead ?
Na, he’s not dead …
You might be wondering how he keeps us reading his emails ….
REVIEW:
The first line of the body copy is called the question disrupt, and that’s a good way to start an email. But after that Transition is not good, but you can transit with some better intrigue
COPY:
For hours here’s what I discovered while reading his stuff…
That can add some more volume to your copy ….
But why the fuck should i trust you ….Who are you by the way ?
REVIEW:
You are saying to yourself or what, lol?
And from the word, I can say it's an inner monologue, and it's the reader's inner mind thoughts.
So, you should mention it in italic with "" to make it sound like I am speaking in my head and clearing the objection.
COPY:
Lets say my nickname is ck …
Lol why should I care.. if I kept you reading this long? That's my credibility ….
REVIEW:
Again, the same mistake of monologue
why there a lot of dots? Did you run it on GPT after writing?
I am 100% sure, you did, cause it's killing the copy's readability.
COPY:
#1 Ashu said we should address every single objection….
When you land into dani’s landing page ,there isn’t a second thought …
REVIEW:
The reason it's showing my name “Ashu”, I think you mentioned the {first name} tag, and I am already in beehiiv, or you just write my name lol
COPY:
Of objections every single fucking objection is handeled..
How did he do it mostly by research and yrs of marketing knowledge ..
Then how to research like him stay tuned i will say it next email…
Keep reading
REVIEW:
good cta but poor English, I get your email's idea.
Lots of fluff and breaks, and it's not making sense at first read.
After reading 3 times i understand the email.
Just rewrite, and one more thing:
Read this copy A LOUD.
You will find your own mistake and then edit and send it to me again.
And keep going, don’t take my words to heart, but implement, and you will improve for sure.
-AshuRex
Streak: 226
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